Attention, Emotions, & Learning

Did you know the hippocampus resembles a horse?
At least a sea horse...

You know how you know something about yourself but you don't want others to know because you will get labeled? Well, I am about to reveal a truth about myself that I have been hiding for, oh, about, well, a long time. Since I was about 14. And no, I won't tell you anything else because I don't want you to do the math.

I have the absolutely worst memory on the planet.

After thinking about what I learned this week as far as how the emotions affect the brain and learning, I had a total epiphany!!!

I grew up in a home where my needs were not always at the forefront. My parents divorced, then reconciled, then really divorced, during my middle childhood years. They both remarried soon after, I was 13 or so. I spent the next several years with a series of medical issues, including ulcers and headaches and depression. A stepfather moved in with my family. Then he moved us 3,000 miles away from my California home to New England. I started high school without a friend in the world, and in New England, it can take years to develop relationships. I did not make a friend for a year.  I ate lunch by myself. At the start of my Junior. year I moved across the US again to the West Coast to live with my grandparents for a semester. Then the last 1 1/2 years, I moved in with my father and stepmother, who did not particularly like having a teenage come into her lifestyle, and she was severely depressed as well. Three high schools, three families. A negligent mother with mental illness. A stepmother with no relationship skills. How can I be blamed for mild depression and high levels of stress. No wonder my grades suffered. No wonder I had no confidence.

A well developed hippocampus

 

 

As an adult, I struggle to remember things still! I finally found that the hippocampus is the part of the brain that makes memory, but also regulates the emotions. It is particularly vulnerable to stress.  I was constantly under stress-the stories are too numerous to tell--but I remember clearly one theme that ran throughout my three families and three schools and nine (yes nine) step parents: I couldn't focus or remember anything.

The story has a happy ending. Twenty two years of a good marriage and great kids, I have more than my share of happiness in life. But I often comment to my husband that I would have been such a better student if I had grown with a nurturing and emotionally safe environment. Now I have proof, and I am blaming it on the hippocampus.

My very own hippocampus