The biggest question is, not what does it mean, but how do you do it with your high school students???
NOT an easy task. With teenagers MOST especially.
First, define "relational". The term is simple: to connect.
And to connect means to be able to have some sort of emotional relationship with someone.
Emotion. Teenagers. Emotions +Teenagers= death wish
Or does it?
Teenagers are creatures from another planet. Their hormones are changing. Not monthly, or daily, but by the minute. They have bodies that are capable of takign on the most important and serious responsibility in the world: being a parent. But their mental, emotional, and other developmental areas are in a state of chaos. They are :
impulsive
confused
seeking attention
looking for validations
searching for status
tired
not tired
wanting, not wanting
argumentative
scared
daring
exhausting
I should know; I have three of them.
If I want to connect with students as a high school teacher there are some do's and some don'ts
DO:
validate
compliment
seek the good
consistent
dependable
calm
smile
look them in the eye
remember their name
remember their boyfriend, favorite team, and hand lotion
reward and penalize fairly
listen listen listen listen listen
give them a second chance whenever possible
hold them to high expectations. because they can do it if we expect them to
DON'T:
tell them what to do
tease inappropriately
tease at all unless I am positive what i am dealing with
be negative. EVER.
do anything to make them stand out unless they want to
demand
forget their name
ignore them
send them out of the room when i get tired of them
the list could go on. But I will stop there. THose are the highlights. In order to be relational with teens, you have to understand them. you have to try to understand them. And you have to really truly care, because they are like bloodhounds and they will detect it quickly if you are a fraud.
If teens like you, they will listen. If they listen, they may learn. If they learn they will succeed.
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